MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY BEAR! – Joe Mannetti “Bears” All!
Interview with Joe Mannetti (Mr. International Daddy Bear 2009) by Eric Franklin Crow
I recently had the opportunity to interview Joe Mannetti, who took home the title of International Daddy Bear 2009 at IBR weekend last February. I first became acquainted with him when I ran for Mr. SoCal Bear 2006, and later went on to work with him in various other ways, but only after this interview did I fully understand the terribilitia (Italian term, literally translated as “awesomeness”) of this furry little Muscleplug (my term for a short but stacked Muscle Bear). (Note: since doing this interview, Joe has turned 47 and resigned from the Board of BearsLA.)
EC: So you’re in the middle of the LA Leather contest season. Is there a good batch of guys this time?
JM: Very much so, and now I am involved as a Bear with TWO organizations! Bears LA & The International Imperial Court of Long Beach!
EC: I saw the news of your “newest title” on Facebook – how does that feel?
JM: Well, I am just very honored to be able to reach out to more people as a representative to the LGBT community. The IICLB has a rich diversity of Drag Queens, Leather, and now Bear title holders with me! It is all about giving back to the community and promoting diversity.
EC: You are really in a good position to be the kind of titleholder that so many want and need.
JM: Well, thank you. I am really just a “filter.” I get to promote programs and support services & people who do really important work for the community. I admit that I am no fan of the assimilationist movement, and I like my events to be as inclusive as possible – drag queens, transgender people, bears, leather, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence – everyone!
EC: I’d like to back to IBR weekend. Tell me how it felt the moment you heard your name mentioned as the receiver of the Daddy title.
JM: Shock and relief! LOL! Part of me was relieved not to be in a “Cub” category at age 46! But part of me said, “ME? A DADDY?” LOL! I was lucky to place and be part of a great team of men. I am proud that we raised money for the three great beneficiaries Bears of San Francisco selected.
EC: Besides your international title, what are your other titles?
JM: My titles are as follows: Mr. SoCal Cub 2006, Mr. Long Beach Pride Bear/Cub 2008 (first Bear title for the International Imperial Court of Long Beach thanks to organizer Martini Moore), Mr. Los Angeles Bear 2008 and Mr. SoCal Bear 2008.
EC: Now I’d like to go back to your beginnings in the Bear community. How did you become aware and involved with the Bear community?
JM: Well, people have always called me “little Bear” or “muscle cub.” Originally, I came out to Los Angeles from New York in 1986 to become an actor. I was persuaded to enter my first Bear contest in around 2002, and that began a journey that I never expected. One thing kind of led to another organically.
EC: Had you heard of the Bear label prior to 2002?
JM: A little bit. I came out rather late in life, and I did not actually explore being Gay until my mid-twenties. So, these names like “Twink” and “Bear” were all new to me. However, I was always attracted to mature hunky men with facial and body hair. So, I was a Bear admirer without knowing it. Then, I dug it because it represented something more “earthy” and “inclusive.” I still see that in the Bear community; but, all communities have their issues. As we gain more mainstream acceptance, we all lose the risk of maintaining our value for diversity. I am no fan of the assimilation craze in LGBT communities.
EC: Kind of similar to my experience – I’ve always had a big hard-on for the Colt Model type, up until very recently, because I have always liked big beefy men, and that image led into so many other types of images, and inevitably to the “Bear type”.
JM: WOOF! Same here! And I guess seeing that a certain type responded more affirmatively to my type of look and demeanor had something to do with where I gravitated (EXPAND A BIT) but there are Bear lovers and Bears who love non-Bears – so much diversity. I think it is really limiting to restrict ourselves to one group or one type.
EC: I remember an inner-view I did with one of your socal bear predecessors (Craig Haggett, SoCal Bear 2002), where he talked about “hair fascism” (the idea that you have to have so much hair or weigh so much to be considered the Bear “type”). So while I got the gist of what he meant, it seemed strange to me that Bears would escape the exclusionary mind so much propagated as the “twink/circuit” culture, and into a world where they could be themselves and be accepted just as they are, only to turn around and perpetrate the same mentality on others who they didn’t deem the “Bear type.”
JM: Such is the nature of assimilation. Once you get accepted by the mainstream, you revert to the class systems that originally made you rebel against being part of a “group.” Individuality and non-conformity are difficult to maintain in America.
EC: You’ve told me about your Bear history, now tell me outside of the Bear world – who are you and what are you up to in life?
JM: Well, I am ME! LOL! Seriously, though, I was born in Ann Arbor, Michigan. I was raised in New York. I’m the third generation of Italian and Brazilian immigrants who came to America to start a new life. The first few years of my life, my family lived below the poverty level standards of that time. I was born April 20, 1962. I came to LA to pursue acting. I wound up putting myself through graduate school earning a Master’s degree in counseling. I have spent years working and volunteering at various non-profits as an HIV Testing Counselor, Case Manager, and Social Worker. I’ve written articles about LGBT community issues that were published in Frontiers! I’ve had the opportunity to perform on film and television in bit parts mostly playing little tough guys, and have also have done Bear porn – I still get recognized as a Bear pin-up. Apart from all this, I am still on a journey discovering about who I am and what I can contribute to in the world. I am doing my best. One thing is for certain. I do not see myself as a role model. My life is not a blueprint for other people to follow to achieve anything.
EC: Your experience as an adult film actor – would you care to say anything about that: why you did it, what the experience was like, etc.?
JM: Yes! Initially, I said no to performing in porn, not because of any issue posing nude – I am a big exhibitionist and enjoy exploring my sexual side. I always have, always will, even at 46! My main motivation was mostly that I saw it as an act of rebellion. I was furious with the anti-sex hypocrisy of the community!
I was lucky. The producers that I worked with agreed to my terms, and I got to work with some of the sexiest, best-hung, and nicest studs ever! All of you brought something special to the table! But it took a little time to go with the idea, and I agreed to do it only under the condition that there would only be safer sex (using condoms), no drugs were allowed on the set, and there would be no doing anything that I was uncomfortable doing. There was a good combination of gentle, aggressive tops, who were also fun, serious, and all very sexy! All took very good care of me. But I never wanted to be known ONLY for porn, so after realizing that I’d done it for four years (2002-2006) it was time to move on, but I still like posing if anyone asks me.
EC: Speaking of co-stars, have you spoken with Ali lately?
JM: Funny that you should mention him! He is one that I have fallen out of touch with, and I miss him! But my thoughts are with him. He is truly a class act! The scene that we did together even got us on Conan O’Brien! LOL!
EC: I saw that…were you upset about that?
JM: Nah! It would have been nice to have been paid and to have asked us on the show after exploiting are images without giving us any credit or pay whatsoever! But, hey!
EC: I was only bothered because they were making fun of what you and I take seriously but in the end, it was only a blip on the radar…
JM: Everything is an opportunity, I say. Yes, it would have shown good business PR to have asked permission, and they did violate some serious legal stuff showing it on television when it is only supposed to be “privately” viewed as all adult films are, but what the Hell.
EC: What are your future travel/event plans, and do you plan to put on any fundraisers yourself?
JM: Oh yes! Thank you for asking that question and giving me a chance to talk about my plans! I am doing many fund-raisers for various organizations that provide support services for LGBT youth, Transgender people, and People of Color in and outside our LGBT communities. I also want to work more with supporting LGBT youth. Everything LGBT related should not be about White values and programs located in predominantly White areas. I just spoke at Bienestar La Casa LGBT Center in East LA. What an amazing group of proud LGBT Latino and Latina people there! I had the pleasure of speaking with Black activist/performer/Lesbian Mami Watu in Long Beach recently. I am hoping to do outreach to the community with her too. She is amazing. I am also excited about being able to promote the Community Clinics Campaign in LA. It’s being launched by the Transgender Law Center and the FTM Alliance. This is a very important program. Transgender people in Los Angeles need clinical services and support, but currently the majority of the services offered in LA are only done through HIV related programs. I was shocked to discover that Los Angeles was trailing behind San Francisco and San Diego in their Transgender outreach services. Totally unacceptable!
EC: You said it. Just two more interview specific questions. First one – Picture this: It’s the night of your step-down next year. You have just made your final draft step-down speech. What will people walk up to you and tell you that they know about you, now that you’ve served the community for a year…
JM: I hope they remember me for using everything that I did as an opportunity to promote something bigger than myself. I hope that they remember how important diversity is and how important supporting people who dare to be different are right now. I hope they see me as someone who enjoyed his sexuality as well as the other parts of his personality. I hope they got the message I was trying to deliver. I hope they will realize that we should not fragment ourselves and deny our sexuality in order to gain mainstream approval. Anything you do can be used for something good. I have raised tons of money to buy food and promote support services for LGBT youth, HIV outreach, and other community services raffling off my porn DVDs and hosting fundraisers! I did everything with love. And I hope that they still continue to enjoy looking at me.
EC: They are…Dad.
JM: Thank you.
EC: Last question: What advice do you have for anyone considering the path of the titleholder or for the Bear community in general?
JM: Stay true to the community if you want to grow and contribute anything of lasting value. That means being inclusive of Transgender people, Drag Queens, our Leather Brothers & Sisters, the (fabulous) Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, our Older LGBT people, and start talking and listening to our LGBT youth and being more inclusive of People of Color! You are only as important as you make yourself to the community. You only get back from giving. Stand for something besides your “group” or you wind up standing for nothing. Be the best you that you can be. Don’t try to be me or anyone else! Hell! I have trouble being me most of the time, and I’ve been at it for 46 years!
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